Shuga' Mommas

Shuga’ Mommas: Butternut Squash Stew Whatsit

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Ah, wonderful winter comfort food.

My good friend, Carly, hosted us for dinner one evening, and made this tantalizing dish that dazzled our taste buds, and filled our tummies with a winter warmth that is only rivaled by a roaring fireplace.

(Start Tangent: If you’re ever in Oxford, you have to check out The Old Parsonage. In the waiting area, they have the most amazing fireplace that I am in love with. The entire place smells of burning wood (in a good way) and their afternoon tea is a delight. End Tangent).

This is a very simple dish to prepare, and it keeps well in the fridge. And, even if I don’t know what ‘whatsit’ means, I do know that when I make this at home, everyone is happy.

BUTTERNUT SQUASH STEW WHATSIT

  • 1 Butternut Squash (Can be any size)
  • 2 Tbsp Olive Oil
  • 1 Onion, diced
  • 2 Cloves Garlic, finely chopped
  • 1/4 tsp Cayenne Pepper
  • 1/8 tsp Ground Cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp Cumin
  • 1 16 oz can of diced tomatoes
  • 1/3 cup of raisins
  • 32 oz veggie stock
  • 1 16oz can of chickpeas, drained
  • 1 1/2 tsp salt

Halve and peel squash.  Remove seeds and cut into 1″ chunks.  Heat oil in pot over medium heat.  Add onion and cook 5 minutes.  Add garlic, cayenne, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cumin and cook 1 minute.  Stir in squash, tomatoes, raisins, stock, chickpeas, and salt.  Simmer until squash is tender, about 30 minutes. Serve on a bed of rice. You can add meat to this dish as well.

Enjoy the winter comforts. I’m back to fireplaces and winter hibernation.

-Mandy

Monday's Food for Thought · Motherhood

Monday’s Food for Thought: The Parent Trap….or Not?

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This fascinating piece published in the Guardian last year, takes you on an interesting thought journey exploring the realities of trying to ‘work’ after having children.

“There’s a belief that to do great work you need tranquility and control, that the pram (stroller) is cluttering up the hallway; life needs to be neat and tidy. This isn’t the case. Tranquility and control provide the best conditions for completing the work you imagined. But surely the real trick is to produce the work that you never imagined. The great creative moments in our history are almost all stories of distraction and daydreaming – Archimedes in the bath, Einstein dreaming of riding a sunbeam – of alert minds open to the grace of chaos.”

This gives me much ‘food for thought’ as I am trying to navitgate my own way in this crazy path of ‘working’ with children.  It also speaks greatly to my grad school husband who is daily trying to figure out how to be the best student and also father.  I hope it leaves you with some inspiration if you have children, or are considering them, and also with a good laugh.

“I remember reading that when the writer Tracey Chevalier had her first baby, someone told her that “every baby costs one book”; she said something to the effect that that seemed fair enough. But we should turn Connolly’s equation upside-down and say that maybe what’s in the pram – breathing, vulnerable life, hope, a present responsibility – is actually more important than good art. It might make us produce less art, but maybe it would be art with the future at its heart.”

Wow…Well said.

-M.C.

Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies: New Year’s Resolutions

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I don’t know about you, but this is often how I’ve felt about New Year’s resolutions! :)

Happy New Year!

-Mandy

Inspiration

Snapshots & words

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Snapshot:  I am sitting on a hotel bed with two of my dearest friends in the world, eating chocolates and drinking red wine.  We are laughing, crying and praying together.  We haven’t seen each other in many many months and only have about 18 hours to spend together.  Honest, beautiful, rich, true.

Snapshot: I am at a ballet performance of the Nutcracker with my mother and my daughter.  My daughter is dancing in the aisles as each new character takes the stage.  My eyes fight back tears as I remember my own Nutcracker performances and my mother’s dear affection during the years. Heritage, delight, curiosity, growth.

Snapshot: I am at my in-laws and there is a buzz of energy as different relatives are arriving.  I watch my family gather around my brother-in-law to support him as he prepares to make a move to the big apple in a few days time. Patience, commitment, gentleness, love.

Snapshot:  I am gathered in a huddle around a family member about to have major surgery.  There is stillness about us as we reach out and touch him.  We begin to pray out loud, one at a time.  Vulnerability, surrender, hope, peace.

As I reflect upon the past year and even upon the past three weeks that I have spent traveling for Christmas (where these snapshots came from) I am reminded afresh of the gift of life.  Life…with all it’s strange, beautiful and trying experiences.  Each little snapshot here and there that makes us who we are.  As 2012 rolls our way, many of us graduate wives will face graduations (yeah!), moves, changes, or even just the reality of another year full of support, sacrifice and encouragement that comes with being in this role for this season.  Not to sound too cheesy, but I hope we can treasure life.

May we treasure the snapshots.

May we find meaning and joy in the little things.

May we find ways to capture moments in our hearts and may we never cease sharing them with each other.

Happy 2012!!

-M.C.

Holidays

Merry Christmas! See you in 2012!

thegraduatewife1 Comment

Thank you so much for sharing your stories with us here on The Graduate Wife, and thanks for reading too!  It’s truly been a gift journeying with each of you. We’ll be taking some time off for travel and we look forward to seeing ya again in 2012!  If you can, spend some time writing and reflecting on your graduate wife experiences while you have a break over the holidays and submit your stories to us in the new year!

p.s.  We put together a little dance just for our GW viewers. We hope you enjoy.  :)

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: Everyone has a Story

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So you are standing in the massive line at Tescos, ready to check out, watching the clock to make sure you catch the bus on time, and your toddler starts to whine a little.  Maybe it gets a bit louder…and it becomes more than a whine…it turns into a full on cry.  You try to comfort, give in to temptation and try to bribe them…nothing is working.  You are exhausted in a hurry and have your hands full.  You just take a deep breath and try to make it through to the checkout.  The man behind you starts sneering.  He sneers some more and then it turns into criticism of your parenting.  He is grumpy, old, up tight and he has nothing better to do than to be angry at you for something you really can’t control.  Seriously…did he ever have kids?  Doesn’t he have anything more important to fret about?

Does any of the above scenario sound familiar?

In moments like this I find it easy for my anger to start building… especially in the heat of the moment when the man is getting grumpier and I start getting more annoyed.  However, over the past year or so I have started understanding something really important.  Something that is incredibly hard and something that involves stepping outside of oneself and really trying to ‘give the benefit of the doubt’ to another.

I came across this video recently and it really spoke to me.  Everyone has a story.  Everyone of us has a past and everyone of us has been shaped and molded by it.  We can never assume we know it in all about someone by a brief encounter…or even if we’ve known that someone for many years.

I hope this leaves you with much food for thought this Christmas season.  It’s a busy time of travel, hurry and family.  If you are stuck next to a grumpy gills on the plane, or are having a hard time relating to a difficult family member…. remember that everyone has a story, we just have to take the time to read it (or at least recognize it).

 

-M.C.

Shuga' Mommas

Shuga’ Mommas: Viv’s Chocolate Chip Cookies

thegraduatewife1 Comment

My Mom, Viv, is a master in the kitchen. A goddess, really. She grew up on a farm in southeast Missouri, and started cooking at the age of eight. She’s not afraid to try new things, and while in her kitchen, you’ll often hear the term, “It needs to be doctored,” said with quite a southern flair. 100% of the time, she’s right.

One of the things my Mom spent years perfecting were her chocolate chip cookies. They were legendary in our church and school. In my high school years, it was nearly impossible for us to attend any event unless we brought cookies with us.

Then college came. I moved 12 hours away. The cookies did not come with me.

What was I supposed to do? I begged my Mom for the recipe, and she relented, making me promise I would NEVER give the recipe to anyone else. I agreed.

The cookies were back in my life!

12 years later, we were in the middle of a master’s program in Florida, and had just received our acceptance into Oxford. Our friends knew we would be leaving them soon. So, the questions, started.

“Do you think you could give me the chocolate chip recipe?”

“How in the world am I going to live without these cookies?”

My answer was the same, every time. “You’ll have to ask Viv.” In 12 years, I had kept my promise to my Mom. I had not given the recipe to anyone.

On my 30th birthday (which we’ll pretend was last year), my husband threw me a surprise party, and flew my parents and brother in for it. I was shocked, to say the least. At the party, some of our friends pulled me aside, and asked if they should ask my Mom for the recipe. I said, “Sure! But she’s probably not going to give it to you.”

How wrong I was.

Five girls cornered my mother, and the whining ensued, for a good 15 minutes. I think my Mom was so amused by it that she finally said, “Fine. You all can have it.”

The cheering could be heard for miles.

So, this is my Christmas gift to you. Santa will be more than pleased.

VIV’S CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

  • 1 cup shortening (Editor’s note: I have dropped this from the recipe since moving to England, as it’s nearly impossible to find shortening)
  • 1 cup butter (melted) (Editor’s note: If you drop the shortening, do not melt the butter)
  • 1 1/3 cups sugar
  • 1 2/3 cups brown sugar (packed)
  • 1 TBSP of Vanilla
  • 4 Eggs
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 2 tsp baking soda
  • 5 cups flour
  • 2 bags chocolate chips

Mix (hand or stand) the shortening, butter, sugar, and brown sugar, until smooth. Add eggs one at a time, stirring each one until completely mixed into the dough. Mix in vanilla, salt, and baking soda. Add flour a bit at a time, until mixed into the dough. Then, add chocolate chips.

Pre-heat oven to 350F.

     

Once the dough is mixed, spoon onto baking sheet.I use a tablespoon to scoop the dough; although an ice cream scooper will work just as well.

(Note: I’m seriously drooling looking at this dough).

Bake for 8-10 minutes, or until golden brown.

Serve cookies warm, with a glass of cold milk.

Merry Christmas!!

-Mandy

Holidays

I’ll Be Home For Christmas, If Only in My Dreams……

thegraduatewife4 Comments

                                                                                             -written by Deanna, a current graduate wife

My husband and I have been doing this grad-school thing for 5+ years now and we have at least 2 to go.  Possibly as many as 5.  We’re in the thick of it.  Although we are both from the US, we started our grad-school adventure in Canada – but only about 7 hours from our families.  We had a semi-dependable car so, of course, we drove home for Christmas.  Easy peasy.  As relative newlyweds and people with great families who grew up with well-loved Christmas traditions, we really enjoyed sharing the nostalgia of childhood Christmases with each other those first few years.

Our third Christmas in Canada our daughter was born.  I literally went into labour after breakfast on Christmas morning, went to the hospital that afternoon, and delivered her at some unholy hour the next morning.  Adoring grandparents and aunts quite literally dropped their forks on their Christmas dinner plates and braved icy roads in the midst of a massive snow storm to come to us that Christmas day arriving at the hospital in the middle of the night… just hours before our daughter was born.  It was an eventful Christmas but needless to say, we didn’t travel that year.

The next graduate degree took us much farther from our families.  Instead of being a few hundred miles away, we were nearly 5,000 miles away (including crossing a rather significant ocean.)  Money was tight… very tight.  A flight home simply wasn’t an option.  In fact this is our third Christmas overseas.  Is it hard being away from the family we love so dearly at such a special time of year?  Yes.  (It’s even worse with a child!)  Does it get easier?  That depends on you.  But here are a few survival tips from a graduate wife who has lived it a few years running. 

First things first, admit that it sucks.  If you’d rather be back home – just say so.  Don’t bottle it all up with a brave face until you crack and turn into a big weepy puddle on Christmas day.  Talk to your spouse.  Tell your spouse about the specific things you’ll miss.  Chances are that they have a list of things they’ll be missing as well.  Grieve it if you need to.  And don’t forget to tell your family and friends back home too! They’ll be thrilled to know you want to be with them – even if you can’t be there that year.  Be sure to plan a time to video chat with your family too!

But then you’ve got to move on.  Don’t wallow in self pity day in and day out.  It isn’t pretty.  Turn off the sad songs you’ve had on repeat.  (I may or may not be speaking from personal experience when I’m guessing your repeat list includes Michael Buble’s ‘I Want To Go Home’ and the Christmas classic ‘There’s No Place Like Home for the Holidays’.)  Whether intentional or not, your wallowing will likely make your spouse feel like scum for dragging you away from your family at the holidays even though, in reality, you probably made the decision to move far away together.  Instead, try to be thankful that you don’t have to deal with the headaches of holiday traffic, airport crowds, and jet lag.  And then use some of the following tips to keep your Christmas spirits up and truly enjoy the season where you are!

1.    Make some of your favorite traditions from back home happen where you are.  It may take a little ingenuity, and it won’t be perfect – but it can be done!   Here are a few of my favorites:

• Bake a plate of Christmas cookies for your neighbors (or just for yourself!),

• Put up a tree.  Make it out of paper or felt and tape it to your wall if you must – but at our house we don’t go without a tree of some sort.  Then cover it with ornaments, homemade if you didn’t bring any of your own (we didn’t).  Cut out paper snowflakes, tie a bit of string to the top of pine cones (and add a little glitter?), shape some stars out of pipe cleaners, and string popcorn.  Is it going to look like Rockefeller Plaza?  No.  But it will still be festive!

•Bust out some nostalgic Christmas music.  Try Grooveshark to put together free playlists of all your old favorites.

•Make yourself an advent wreath and follow the true story of Christmas for the 4 weeks leading up to the big day.  It can really help your perspective!

•Curl up with your spouse and watch your favorite Christmas movie with a cup of cocoa.  (Stir it with a candy cane if at all possible.)

2.  Embrace where you are.  After all, you may never be here at this time of year again!

•Pick something to do with your spouse that you couldn’t do back home.  December is packed full of concerts, plays, Christmas fairs and festivals, tree lighting ceremonies, church services, Christmas carol sing-alongs, etc. pretty much wherever you are.  Find a unique setting like a cool playhouse, grotto or cathedral near you to experience some of these things in a new way!

•Take advantage of the weather.  If it’s cold where you are, go ice skating or build a snowman with your spouse and then take a picture of the two of you with your snowman and send it to family and friends.  If it’s warm where you are, hit the beach for the day to work on your tan and fire up the BBQ for Christmas dinner!

•Try some local Christmas food traditions.  Here that means fresh roasted chestnuts, mince pies, mulled wine, bacon-wrapped sausages, brussels sprouts, roast potatoes, stuffing rolled into balls, roast turkey, Christmas pudding (doused in brandy and lit on fire!), Christmas crackers and wearing a paper crown during dinner and/or dessert.

•Volunteer in your community.  Chances are, as poor as you might feel sometimes, there are people in your city who are much worse off than you.  Find a soup kitchen or homeless shelter to help out at.  Bless people less fortunate than you are and then go home feeling grateful for all that you have instead of feeling miserable about all the things you don’t.

•Find out who else is spending Christmas away from their families and plan something fun to do together:  attend a midnight carol service together, invite someone to Christmas dinner, host a Christmas cookie exchange, organize a white elephant gift exchange, bundle up for a walk together and then head back to one of your homes for a Christmas movie and some hot apple cider, etc.  The possibilities are endless – and all the friends who traveled home for the holidays will be sad to have missed such a fun time while they were away!

3. Create new traditions.  Old traditions are great.  But creating a tradition that is unique to you and your spouse (and kids!) is especially wonderful!  I’m not sure we would have discovered this truth if we had simply gone back to our parents’ house every year to take part in their traditions.  Let me encourage you to seize this opportunity!  Here are a few simple ideas:

•Build a gingerbread house together.  Can’t find gingerbread where you are and don’t want to make your own?  Browse the cracker, cookie, and candy aisles at your local shop and get creative with what’s available to you!

•Hang a stocking (or just a sock!) for each person in the house on Dec 1.  Then every day, write down one thing you appreciate about each of the other people in the house or perhaps something funny/memorable they did or said that day on a small bit of paper and put it in their stocking.  On Christmas day, each person will read dozens of affirming observations about themselves!  What a gift!

•Go for a Christmas day walk.

•Plan a yummy Christmas breakfast together.  It doesn’t have to be complicated – just something you’ll do year after year.  We tend to go for homemade cinnamon rolls smothered in butter and frosting served with eggs, fruit, and bacon or sausage.

•If you have kids, pick a small Christmas object (a star, a candy cane with a ribbon tied round it, a particular Christmas ornament, a santa hat, a small stuffed snowman or elf, etc.) and hide it in a different place in the house every day.  Whoever finds it first wins a small prize like a piece of chocolate!

I hope you will try some of these tips and that you will find them to be as rewarding as we have over the past few years.  From my family to yours, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year wherever you may be!

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: ‘pearls before breakfast’

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If you didn’t run across this fascinating Washington Post article a few years ago, I hope you will check it out now.  It’s an incredible stunt involving world famous violinist, Joshua Bell, a 3 million dollar violin and rush hour in the DC metro.  ‘His performance was arranged by The Washington Post as an experiment in context, perception and priorities — as well as an unblinking assessment of public taste: In a banal setting at an inconvenient time, would beauty transcend?’

So much food for thought…do people have the capacity to understand beauty in our fast paced world?  Or is it irrelevant because our priorities are skewed?  What is taste?  Do we have to be ‘told’ that something is beautiful for us to appreciate it?  Do children really have a ‘one up’ on adults in their ability to recognize the good and beautiful?

Hope you enjoy…and I hope you keep your eyes and ears open today to the beauty around you. :)

-M.C.

Beauty and the Budget

Beauty and the Budget: Giving Gifts

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So, we all know that Christmas is about much much more than giving gifts.  So much more.  However, if your love language is ‘giving gifts’ (like mine is) it’s a special time to shower love on those special people in your life.  I am ALL about DIY gifts, especially those that cost as little as possible to make.  I hope that if you are on a tight budget this Christmas some of the below ideas will be helpful and fun!  Enjoy!

1. {For the baby in your life}  If you are anything like me, you have to use your fingers and toes to count the number of friends and family in your life that are pregnant right now.  I have one word for you: onesie.  Being a mom myself, I can’t tell you how many onesies you go through with babies.  So it is great to have some that are fun, colorful and hand-made by a friend to add a little something extra.  I have another word for you: (well two) fabric paint.  Amazing stuff.  Pick some up at any craft store (or order online in the UK on amazon.uk) and go to town! I recently picked up a pack of 3 onsesis for £2.50!

Print out a silhouette of any object you like.  I have included a little template here (with some  I made and others I found on google images).  Print it out and then use an exacto knife to cut out the image and then tap the ‘stencil’ onto the onesie.  Paint over the stencil and after giving it a minute to dry, pull it up.

I packaged them up in an egg carton (because I chose a farm theme).  It was free and turned out great.

Could he be any cuter?!! This is my nephew Levi modeling his rooster onesie! :)

2. {‘For the ‘butcher, baker and candlestick maker’ in your life}  Ok, really just for the baker. Super easy little gift below.  Pick up an inexpensive oven mitt (this one was only £1!).

Sew on a little heart and some buttons and tada!  It’s something special.  Tie it up fancy with a nice cookbook (tip: charity shops are GREAT places to find fun/hardly used cookbooks) and your set!

3. {‘For the hard to shop for’ in your life}  Sometimes there is that one person that you really want to find something special for, but can’t quite put your finger on what to get them.  Find something personal that you know they will love, print it out and frame it up!  I simply love finding random old frames at charity shops and markets.  You can create something pretty special for nearly 1/10th of what you would pay to have it done in a framing shop.  Rip open the backing, recover the matting, possibly paint the frame a brighter fun color, add in your personal printed piece and your done! I hope to share more on this process in a later post. You can also find frames at Ikea or even the pound shop (equivalent to the dollar store) and come out with some pretty inexpensive, but personal gifts.

I bought this frame at the pound shop, used a piece of blue paper and then wrapped it around the mat (hope to show more details soon) then printed off this lovely little image from {the graphics fairy} and added a bible verse.  It makes for a perfect gift!

I searched for some vintage postcard images online and printed off some that reflected the ‘home’ state of several good friends.  I then cut them out and framed them with a pack of .50p clip frames from the charity shop down the street!  Pretty great.

Here is another great example from a wonderful blog called: Metal and Mud.  She used the same image I used previously, but printed it on yellow paper and framed it for a piece to hang over  her bed.  All she paid for was the frames!  Great gifts huh?

She also had the absolutely genius idea to frame some fun fabric scraps and then use the frame as a dry erase board!  Talk about a fun and unique gift! And super easy and inexpensive too.

I hope to include some more fun, random and inexpensive gift ideas next week if I can get around to it!