Category: Monday’s Food for Thought

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: Technology as our master?

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I read this article from the American Spectator a few months back, and although it is quite biased and provides little empirical evidence, I found myself intrigued by the author’s opinions and observations on the use of technology in the world today.

I once heard someone explain the tool of technology (specifically social media) like this: When any tool is used, the user is in return ‘shaped’ by the tool it is using.  You can’t hoe a garden for an afternoon without coming in that evening with sore arms from working the hoe into the ground.  After a few days of working in the garden, your arm muscles will start to grow and you will begin to show a physical change in appearance.  You, the master of the tool, have been shaped by it.

The article speaks similarly, “Communication is not like other human actions, something that we might feel free not to engage in. It is the essence of human life. We are social creatures, whose personalities emerge from our interactions; all that we value and all that we fear has its source in communication. Hence these gadgets, which change the form and the scope of our communications, are less our servants than our masters.”

Hmm, what are your thoughts?  Is technology a neutral tool? Can it be? Should it be?  Have you seen yourself changed by using it so much?  In a good or bad way?

-M.C.

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: Changing Education Paradigms

thegraduatewife1 Comment

I came across this video recently, and it blew my mind.

What do you think? Is our present educational system wrong for today’s learners? What would it take for us to back up and start again?

And on a more personal note, did the present educational system fail you?

-Julia

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: America’s Education Calendar

thegraduatewife1 Comment

Is America’s Education calendar outdated?

I ran across this article a couple of months ago about adopting longer school years in the States, and personally, part of me thinks it’s a great idea, especially after living abroad for the last 5 years seeing another model work.

The other part of me that thinks it’s a bad idea remembers my idyllic childhood summers of ice cream, camp, sleep overs, baseball, and trips to the pool with my cousins, and I’d love to be able to give that to my son, as well.

“The fact that our calendar has been based on the agrarian economy when almost none of our kids work in the field anymore,” said Arne Duncan, secretary of education, “doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.”

If you’re a teacher in the USA, what do you think? Do you think we should adopt a longer school year? Would you be willing to try it if they implemented a different pay structure? If you are a working parent, do you struggle with summer childcare under the current system? How do you manage?

~Mandy

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: The truth of the academic job hunt – even one with a happy ending

thegraduatewife1 Comment

If your other half is working on a PhD…..then you know the dreaded job hunt is in the future. And with that, the dreaded uncertainty of not knowing from year-to-year where you could be living! (Admittedly, that is the hardest part for me).

I know that I naively underestimated this process. Luckily, we’ve seen plenty of friends walk this road, often with happy endings, so we knew it would be a process. It still doesn’t make it easy, though.

I ran across this article, and for me, it was a good hard look at the possibility of this being an extremely long process. Combined with the fact that my husband is in Humanities (where funding is rapidly disappearing), I am preparing myself that we may be in for the long haul.

One question we’ve been rolling around in recent conversations is, “How long do we hold out for an academic post?” When my husband first posed it to me, I wasn’t even willing to discuss it; why in the world would we entertain an idea like that after he just spent nearly 8 years in school? Now, I realize it’s a necessity; we need to hope and plan for the best, but prepare for the possibility that we might have to do something else.

Is this something you discuss with your own graduates?

Something to think about on this Monday!

~Mandy

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: Your Story

thegraduatewife4 Comments

“If we don’t harness the stories we know and have, others will come in and wallpaper their own into our culture.”

 – Bobette Buster

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the stories of The Graduate Wife. We’ve been able to share some amazing stories with our readers: stories of hope, hardship, moving, family, love, and sacrifice; inspiring and encouraging stories that keep our readers continuing their own journeys.

As I think back on my own graduate journey, with its twists and turns, I’m thankful I had people around encouraging me to write my story down. I will admit I hate journaling, and often view it as a chore rather than a reflective exercise. However, I can say that when I have taken the time to journal, it’s been great. It’s meant much more to me in the long run, after walking through periods of celebration and difficulty, to be able to look back at the map of my life and say with the mark of an x, “I was there.”

That’s why this blog has been so helpful for me. Even though it was started at the end of my time as a current graduate wife, I have been so encouraged to hear the courageous stories of those who walked ahead of me, and those who walk behind me. The many joys, shared experiences, and adventures of the graduate life have been documented for us to read and learn from. How lucky are we?

If you don’t like to journal, I totally understand. I could probably out pace you in excuses given for not sitting down to write. But in answer to that, I say this: The only person living your story is you. If you don’t take the time to share it, it will be lost. Use your story to encourage and inspire others.

…And, when you’ve started writing, be willing to share it with us. I know our lives will be better because of it.

~Mandy

Monday's Food for Thought

Welcome Back!

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Welcome back dear graduate wife readers!

After a much needed break, we are excited to be back and to offer a full fall line-up for you. Get ready for many more personal and inspiring stories, a new “Dear Abby” style column, many exciting seasonal cooking and Beauty & the Budget tips, and much more.

It is definitley starting to look and feel like fall around Oxford and to kick us off for for this new school year, we are highlighting below some previous posts that help prepare us for this new season. If you are a new reader-welcome!! If you are a faithful follower of the group we hope this next year on the blog will bring you much more reflection, support and inspiration.

Happy fall and start of term!

Love,
Mandy & M.C.

p.s. If you are just beginning your grad wife journey, check out the resources tab-Inside Scoop to hopefully find more info on your new city!  And even if you aren’t just beginning and there still isn’t info on your current city under the resources tab, then please contribute some info today!!!

What I Wish I Had Known
You say Goodbye, I say Hello
Starting Over

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: Trials and tribulations of a trailing spouse

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This article was published in The Guardian last week, and totally struck a nerve with me. As a ‘trailing spouse’ that’s spent the better part of almost a decade in a role of support for my husband’s Masters and PhD, I could empathize with the article’s author. The academy is often an unkind place for couples simply because it can take years for the academic to secure a permanent position. That means life things for the trailing spouse like advancing your own career, planting roots in a city, having children or buying a house often go on-hold when your other half may end up with only a one-year lectureship at a University, or a postdoc in another country. It’s hard to plan when you don’t have any idea of where you’re going to be in a year!

A fair amount of my graduate wife friends have given up their careers to follow their husbands around the world. Some of the luckier ones have versatile jobs that have allowed them to continue advancing their own careers while their husbands continued their educational pursuits.

My question(s) for graduate wives is (especially after reading this article) – Do you and your partner/spouse have a plan if  working in the academy doesn’t work out? Is it something that you communicate about regularly? If you’ve had to give up your career, do you resent it, or recognize this may only be for a short season? When do you, as a couple, draw the line and say, enough is enough?

I know that I have fairly strong ideals about this (shared dreams, seasons of life, etc), but I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts. Please comment below!

Happy Monday!

~Mandy

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: Poetry

thegraduatewife2 Comments

I am not what you would refer to as a literary critic.

I read mostly fiction, and occasionally some non-fiction, but after spending the last 5 years hanging around arty English lit types, I have to say my love of the written word has expanded. As I’ve stumbled through difficult pieces of literature, my patient friends have taken the time to answer the thousands of questions I have about writing and content, and have often taught me to think a bit more critically about what I’m reading.

Poetry is one of those things I never fully warmed to. I hated studying it when I was in high school and college. All the different types of poetry form to think about – is this free verse? Classicism? Acrostic? Ballad? Is it unryhmed iambic pentameter? (Should I even care if iambic pentameter is rhymed or unrhymed? I can see my poet friends cringing now). I really didn’t care.

That’s changed quite a bit. It’s hard to live in a university city like Oxford and not be exposed to famous poetry on a regular basis. Our city is haunted by the past lives of famous poets: T S Eliot, W H Auden, John Donne, and Gerald Manly Hopkins, just to name a few. I’ve enjoyed getting to know some of their work. It’s also refreshing to have a new perspective on something I used to avoid and immensely dislike.

Recently, I stumbled across this poem, and thought I would share it with you today. Even if poetry isn’t your thing, there is definitely many nuggets of loveliness in this to take away and think about.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, 1927.

Enjoy your Monday. You have a right to be here.

-Mandy

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: The Busy Trap

thegraduatewife1 Comment

After reading this op-ed from the New York Times,  it was hard not to share it immediately with my incredibly hard working, never take a break grad student husband.  The article gave me a bit to think about since I am easily the one to fill up our social calendars and then later get overwhelmed by feeling ‘too busy’ with so many commitments.  The last bit on idleness really struck a nerve as well. It seems almost impossible to practice something like this while living in the time constraints of a graduate student lifestyle.

“Idleness is not just a vacation, an indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body, and deprived of it we suffer a mental affliction as disfiguring as rickets. The space and quiet that idleness provides is a necessary condition for standing back from life and seeing it whole, for making unexpected connections and waiting for the wild summer lightning strikes of inspiration — it is, paradoxically, necessary to getting any work done. “Idle dreaming is often of the essence of what we do,” wrote Thomas Pynchon in his essay on sloth.”

This summer, are you relaxing or are you crazy busy?

-M.C.

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: The Cultural Evolution of Toys

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A fellow graduate wife recently shared this post with me and it has definitely given me much to think about.

The author, Rachel, a former graduate wife herself, shares a disturbing trend in the evolution of the My Little Pony doll and has raised some good points on what these startling changes mean for our children.  Having a daughter myself, I am dreading the day she wants to go shopping for a new doll and hands me a barbie that resembles a stripper.  Not my idea of a fun and carefree childhood toy.  Hmm… and thinking through what all this means for our society, not just my little two year old.  What is up?!

Check out her post that is full of interesting and surprising pictures, as well as few other similar posts that capture (in words and pictures) the rapid change from innocent girl toys made for five year olds, to over the top, cleaveage showing dolls made with more shopping accessories than you can imagine.

Some of her thoughts below:

On My Little Pony: “Is the slimming of toy horses reflective of the growing fear of fat in our culture? Does sexiness in a toy animal relate in any way to the expectation of sexiness in or of a young girl? I don’t know. But the old ponies seem childlike and sweet, and the new ones don’t.”

On Strawberry Shortcake: “Why does a fanciful, friendly rag doll have to be turned into a sexy, skinny pre-teen?  Are we witnessing the Disney-princessification of everything?”

On Polly Pocket: “Polly and her anorexic friends (seen here) aboard a floating paradise-of-consumption.”

Thoughts?  How do you handle this with your kids?  What does this say about the world we are living in?

-M.C.