Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies: Downton Abbey

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Recently, I joined the Downton Abbey bandwagon, after fighting it for the better part of a year. After blitzing through the first two seasons, I am now impatiently waiting for season three to begin. Will Mary and Matthew finally get married? Will Edith find a beau? Does everyone hate Thomas as much as I do? How will Sybil adapt to life in Ireland? Could Maggie Smith be any funnier?

These are the questions currently keeping me up at night. (Not really. Maybe.)

I stumbled across these two little gems, and thought they were worth sharing on this sunny Friday. (If the sun is not shining where you live, I do apologize. The sun has not shone here in England in almost two weeks, so I think it’s worth celebrating today). If you’re a fan of Downton Abbey, you’ll find them a wonderful parody of the show. If you’re not a fan of the show, then download them off Itunes, or better yet, buy the DVDs. Then, plan to lose at least three days on the couch.

I hope they make you laugh today! Happy Friday!

~Mandy

Downton Abbey on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Inspiration · Marriage

Pockets of Time

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-written by Keeley, a current graduate wife

It was Valentine’s Day of the first year in our marriage, and we were living in Cambridge, Mass. in a little apartment halfway between Harvard and Central Square. I was scheduled to work the closing shift at Au Bon Pain, a bakery chain that’s very popular in the Northeast. Instead of having a fancy dinner, I decided we’d do a special lunch before I went in to work, composed of meatloaf, green beans, and mashed potatoes (incidentally, the supper my mom fixed on my husband’s first visit to our home while we were dating). It wasn’t until the phone was ringing did I realize how silly I was being, calling my mom at 7:30 in the morning to ask her how to make a meatloaf. It was one of those dinners I had made about four times growing up, on those nights when my mom was coming in late from work and I had to pinch-hit, so I couldn’t remember the details but could have sworn it took 3 to 4 hours to cook. Fortunately for me, she was awake, she is ready any moment of the day to share how to make a meatloaf, and it doesn’t take nearly that long! We will never forget the Valentine’s Day morning we spent watching a movie and enjoying our home-cooked lunch before walking to work through a snowstorm.

That Valentine’s Day, and that year, will always be special to my husband and me, partly because it was our first year of marriage, but partly because we made such an effort to spend pockets of time together whenever we could. Finding these pockets is a skill which only grows more valuable as time passes and a temptation to take one another for granted subtly sets in, particularly once children arrive, so I’ve heard. I remember our Monday afternoons, especially. I had work at Au Bon Pain from 7 a.m.-3 p.m., and Jason had work at City Sports, about a block away, from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. We decided to meet in the middle and spend the hour together, sitting on the grass and enjoying the occasional treat I was able to mooch from work, sometimes a scone or a “practice” sandwich I had learned to make out of the extensive lunch menu. We were creative and resourceful about our time, because for whatever reason, we felt compelled to make the most of every moment.

Our rhythm has lost some of the urgency of that first year–we’ve moved and are now in the fourth year of Jason’s PhD program and have settled into something of a routine. But I am grateful for the habits that we formed so early, particularly sharing meals together. Breakfast, dinner, and the occasional lunch will find us at the little round wooden table we found at Target the summer we were married, one or both of our cats looking on curiously. We both are great appreciators of food anyway, but it’s also a time when we are completely focused on the conversation between us, looking directly at one another as opposed to having a computer or two in the way, as is so often the case!

My work schedule is odd because I work retail, so my day off is Monday. Just this week, we packed a simple picnic lunch and found a new hiking trail that led to a small pond, where we enjoyed skipping stones and looking for frogs. I haven’t had regular Saturdays off since we first moved to Massachusetts six years ago, but it’s fun being able to have a special outing on an otherwise nondescript Monday. Because Jason is at the writing stage in his program, every day is pretty much the same–full of writing with a few breaks!

Another tradition we have is to take a day trip sometime around our anniversary. This doesn’t have to be expensive, although it will of course depend on where you live. We’ve enjoyed getting away and seeing some of the sights around where we have lived, whether it’s to the mountains or the beach, or to Amish country. A few times we’ve saved up and stayed in a bed & breakfast, but other years we’ve just taken a day off to spend together in a different setting.

One thing that I hope we never forget is the reality that we will always be busy. We will always (hopefully!) have work to do, other friendships and relationships to pursue, and chores to get done. But for us, finding a moment here and a moment there has made our marriage a lot stronger than I think it would otherwise be, and has made us a family, operating with a sense of unity and a mutual rhythm in how we live our days. I am grateful for a husband who values this as much as I do, and pray that we will continue to find ways to take advantage of these pockets of time as we grow and pass through the seasons to come in our life together.

What are some creative ways that you make the most of the time you have with your spouse? Do you have any weekly/monthly/yearly traditions that you feel have especially enriched your marriage?

Wednesday's Weekly Tip

Wednesday’s Weekly Tip: The Drugstore Game

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So I haven’t gotten into the coupon craze that I know many people swear by…however after I read this interesting little tip, I can’t help but want to learn more.

Our tip comes from the amazing blog called The Money Saving Mom.  She has an extensive site full of budget tips that will blow you away and you need to read it in doses or you might get totally overwhelmed.  She even began her thrifty ways when she was a grad wife herself several years back!

Today’s tip focuses on saving/earning lots of cash back from major drug stores in the US.  Sounds too good to be true!  She outlines how to do it here. Looks like it might take a bit of time at first, but in the end totally worth it.   I don’t know if there is a UK equivalent to this coupon scheme here, but I sure hope to find one.  Have fun with those extra care bucks!

-M.C.

“In fact, in about three weeks, we’d gotten around $800 worth of groceries, household products and health and beauty products — and spent less than $20 out of pocket! It was a bit insane!”

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: Parisian Night Mimes

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I came across this link posted on a friend’s facebook page a while back and had to do a double-take.

Art as a means of noise control in Parisian neighborhoods.

Absolutely fascinating to employ something as non-threatening as street performing to help combat a serious public issue.

Reminds me a lot of the whole flash mob movement…gentle but powerful and successful.

I am incredibly curious to see how these “nocturnal artistic intervention squads” are working out.

What do you think about it?

-M.C.

“To deal with a reluctant public, the initiative mixes street art and mediation. The 37 mimes work in trios (two performers and a mediator) and employ all their abilities (mime, acrobatics, dance) to encourage people to celebrate without shouting so that everyone can get along. In June — when the warm weather brings out even more revelers — their ranks will increase to 60 performers with 20 much-needed (we’re guessing) mediators.”

Inspiration

To Dream or Not to Dream…..

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Recently, my husband and I attended a dinner, and one of the attendees I spoke with asked me about our journey to Oxford, my husband’s dissertation topic, and what he planned to do now that his PhD was finished.  I lumbered through her questions, desiring to give as little detail as possible, while still being polite. She then looked at me and said, “What are your dreams?”

Admittedly, I froze when this question was presented to me, especially coming from a complete stranger. However, she is one of several people who have asked me that question in the past few months. I have been grappling with that particular question for the better part of the last 6 years but it surely gave me reason to pause: What was I created to do, exactly? Or better yet, am I already doing it? And, what does ‘it’ look like in this graduate wife season of life?

As I think back on my own journey of the last eight years, those questions have become more difficult to answer. If you’re like me, sometimes you might find yourself lost as your spouse’s personal assistant, doing laundry, housework, working a job to pay the bills, caring for children, etc. until you have no idea who you are or how you even arrived there. You might find yourself thinking, “I know she’s in there somewhere, but where is she? What happened to her desires, goals, and dreams before this graduate journey?”

I am surrounded by beautiful, clever, thoughtful women who have made abundant sacrifices to allow their other halves to pursue a dream. I am inspired by their ability to keep moving their own dreams forward even if for right now, it is in the smallest of increments. I love when we hover together over candlelit dinners and drinks, those dreams are spoken of in rich, present, endearing terms, like old friends coming for a visit. I love that in the midst of transitions, these women are finding their place in their cities, homes, marriages, family, jobs.

On the days where I lament some of my dreams being put on hold, I am reminded that the work I am doing now is very important, as it will play a part in helping me define and refine those dreams. When I start my daily commute, and spend long hours in the office, it puts things into perspective. I’m not working just to support my husband’s dream. I’m working to support ‘our’ dream.

My friend, Julia, who has put one of her dreams on hold at the moment, phrased it so eloquently below:

I’ve come, however, to understand that waiting to pursue one’s dreams doesn’t have to mean that they diminish, ‘dry up’ or even ‘explode’ as Langston Hughes famously penned. Rather, the waiting has refined my goal, changed its direction and enriched its beauty. The dream deferred can turn into an aging wine rather than a raisin in the sun. And in this space of waiting, I’ve seen other aspirations blossom and flourish: having children and starting a family, establishing traditions of our own, getting to know another culture.

So what was my answer to the question posed by my dinner partner? I told her that I love helping people. I want people to know that I love them, but that God loves them even more. Although I love being an administrator, having a life long career in administration does not interest me. I want more children. I’m learning that I really like to write, and I want to develop that to see where it might go. I am passionate about this blog, and I love the women that I’ve connected with in this season of life. I want to continue to support my husband on this incredible journey that our family is on, and more than anything, I want us to be successful at it. I know he could do it without us, but I like to think that because we are here with him, he’s better at it.

It was probably more of an answer than she was looking for, but nonetheless, my answer. As I walked home thinking about our conversation, I realized that in a way, I am living my dreams, although they look a lot different than I thought they would at this stage of my life. Yes, there are still many of them unanswered, but when the time is right, those planted seeds will grow. All the experiences currently taking place in this season of life is part of that cultivation.

So, maybe I’ll issue a challenge today – What are YOUR dreams? Are you living them? Or have you let them go? How will you cultivate them during this graduate season of life? Don’t stop dreaming!

-Mandy

Fashion · Grad Wife Tips!

A Chic Critique: Grad Wife Fashion Advice

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Today’s post comes to us from the talented and inspiring Annie Heyward, from A Chic Critique.  I know from my own experience as a graduate wife, I don’t always feel that fashionable. Maybe it comes my somewhat limited budget, the fact that I live in England and it seems I end up wearing a black rain jacket most days of late :), or that fashion sometimes gets the back-seat in my everyday life of dealing with family and academia.  We asked Annie to share some practical advice that she gives clients to help all of our readers feel as chic and fashion savy as possible.  I was so inspired that I went straight to the closet after reading her post and must say I feel more stylish than ever.  Enjoy! -M.C.

As a wardrobe stylist, I’m often asked by first-time clients, “Where do we begin?” At the risk of sounding a bit like Maria von Trapp, I always respond, “Let’s start at the very beginning: your closet.”

All of my wardrobe assessments and styling sessions begin with a closet clean-out (what’s that, you say?). A closet clean-out is a wardrobe “edit” of sorts, where I prune through all of the pieces in your closet – tops, bottoms, dresses, coats, shoes & accessories – and help you consolidate.

It’s imperative that every woman do this at least once a year. The typical wardrobe edit takes me, on average, 2-3 hours, and comes with a fee, but I’m going to give you a few tips for doing a mini closet clean-out yourself. Follow these guidelines for a no-cost, simple approach to simplifying your life and streamlining your style!

 Mini Closet-Edit & Clean-Out

Go through all of the sections in your closet (shoes. jewelry. coats. purses. jeans. dresses. skirts. tops. etc.) and ask yourself these three questions:

Does it fit me correctly?

 Answer honestly – no cheating! If you need to bring in a friend for a second opinion, by all means do so. Does it work for the size you are now? It’s tempting to hold onto that pair of size 4 jeans that you wore before you had children; however, if they don’t fit you now, they aren’t being worn and are clouding your closet. Dress for the size you are NOW. This is one of the hardest challenges women have to confront; however, I encourage my clients to let go of any clothes they are holding onto that they currently can’t fit into. Is the shirt pulling across your chest? Do your sleeves feel too tight? Do your jeans button? Is that old dress too short? Is that dress shapeless and a size too big? Be honest with yourself and get rid of things that do not fit. Style isn’t about being a certain size: it’s about proportion and fit. If it doesn’t fit correctly, get rid of it!

Have I worn it this year?

Ladies, just because something in on sale (or on the clearance rack) doesn’t mean it’s a smart purchase. Before you buy any piece of clothing, always ask yourself, “Can I think of at least three different ways to wear this?” If not, don’t buy it. You should never buy something that doesn’t fit well and work for your proportions. However, many of you have fallen into this trap; therefore, your closet is filled with things that still have the tag on them or haven’t been worn. So ask yourself: have I worn this the last 12 months? If not – get rid of it. Trust me, you won’t miss it.

Is it pilled, stained, damaged or just tired-looking?

Pit stains, fraying, and pilling are all just cause for burial. A good dry cleaning might do the trick, but there comes a point when it’s time to let go. Get rid of your college jeans from ten years ago – chances are that the jeans are dated and faded. Even basic knits and tees lose their shape eventually after 30+ washes. It might be time to say goodbye.

Keep a couple of plastic bins or trash bags handy when going through this process. I always have one bin labeled “consignment”, one bin labeled “Good Will/Charity” and a third bin labeled “To be altered or dry cleaned.” Look for consignment stores in your city – a great place to take an old pair of designer jeans, a leather handbag that’s still in good condition, or a designer dress from a department store or known label. The charity is up to you, but two bags of gently used clothing can always go to a great cause. Cleaning out your closet will help de-clutter your life and simplify the process of getting dressed in the morning. Now you only have what you wear, what fits, and what works for you. Get rid of everything else! Then you can see what you’re working with every morning as you get dressed and more easily put together looks.

After you get rid of what you don’t wear, you can see what the holes in your closet are and what you may still need. Happy editing, and stay chic!

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: Inspiring People

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The London Marathon was held last Sunday, and as both my husband and I are runners, we always take interest in what is going on in and around the marathon. A week before it took place, this article came out on the BBC.

Fauja Singh announced this would be his last marathon, after only running 8 marathons.He plans to continue running smaller races (half marathons/10Ks).

Part of me wondered, WHY is this news? Then I read further – Mr Singh is 101 years old. He started running when he was 89 years old.

I’ve thought a lot about Mr Singh over the past 2 weeks. Every time I’ve began to make an excuse or procrastinate about accomplishing something, I’ve thought about the tenacity and drive that he must possess – and honestly, I’ve found it inspiring.

I sincerely hope that as I grow older, I continue to try new things and strive for ways that will forge new growth in my own life.

Who inspires you today?

-Mandy

Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies: PhD Comics

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Conferences

The Skinny on Academic Conferences

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So, we’ve been on the grad school journey almost two years now and we recently had the chance for my husband to attend/present his first big conference.  When I found out the conference was being held here, in Dubrovnik, Croatia, it took about two seconds for me to conclude that we were indeed all going.  Yes please!

The conference was to be a week long.  A week long in sunny Croatia.  Lounging by the Adriatic Sea, eating gelato twice a day, catching some rays, all the while cheering on my husband as he lectured and learned at his first major conference of this sort.  Right??

Haha…not exactly.

Not to say that it wasn’t close to this.  We did indeed eat a good bit of gelato, we did enjoy the Adriatic Sea in all it’s glory and we did even catch a few rays…however the entire week looked a lot different that I had envisioned as I shopped for a new bathing suit and read up on Croatian travel guides online.

I can’t speak from a lot of experience (obviously) but I wanted to throw out a few tips and pointers for other naïve :) (just joking) grad wives out there planning possible trips like this in the near future.

1)   If this is your spouse’s first conference of this sort, don’t plan on it being a full on vacation.  They are going to need the time to prepare their slides (rather than lounge by the pool drinking caiparinias with you).  They are going to need time to process, share and practice all they are learning and preparing to present.

2)   Plan ahead if you bring the kids.  With your spouse out at the conference all day and with you in a new country, make sure you have done your research.  I made sure our hotel (amazing place with stellar deals in off season! Yeah!) had a nice heated indoor pool.  I packed many of my daughter’s favorite books, scouted out the closest mini-mart to fetch milk boxes from time to time, packed a few small but special toys and a lot of our regular everyday snacks to have on hand. (Not just for her, but for us too! It saved a ton of money to have pre-packed snacks.)

3)   Give up control. Just give it up.  It was raining half our trip (and hadn’t rained in ages apparently), I had a cold, my husband’s talk got slotted for Friday afternoon-which meant he had to spend all week working on it/questioning it, and my daughter had a hard time with the time change and wouldn’t fall to sleep all that well. It was a good reminder that I am not in control…and that is ok, and that being open and flexible is a much better attitude to have when traveling on a trip like this, than not.

4)   Travel with other grad families or try to connect with some there?  Unfortunately, no other families with children (at least to my knowledge) attended this conference, but it would have been fun to meet some of them and to enjoy exploring the city with some of them as our spouses were in the conference.  Maybe try to set something like this up before the event by emailing the conference coordinator and asking if other participants might be bringing spouses?

5)   See if you can attend any of the conference or if there is a special banquet or closing dinner you could plan to attend?  I couldn’t do this with our daughter, but otherwise would have loved trying to pop in.  We did manage to make it over to the conference centre so that we could at least meet a few of the other guests during a coffee break and we got to see the facility where my husband was spending so much of his time.

6)   Get an early presentation slot. If it is at all an option for your spouse to choose their time slot for presenting, try try try to get an early slot, so that if you do want to do some relaxing/site seeing, they won’t be too focused or mentally distracted the entire time as they anticipate their presentation.

7)   Encourage your spouse to study the conference schedule beforehand and try to determine before you leave what talks they could or could not miss out on.  That way you can have a realistic idea of how much time you might have together during the week.

All in all, we had a great trip, it just looked quite different than I had thought it would.  If you are able to get extra funding or take off work and make it happen, I think it is a great idea to attend the next conference with your spouse.  Although frustrating that we couldn’t be together the entire time, I know that it was so encouraging for my husband to have us there to cheer and support him during the week.  Then again, others of you might be saying ‘yeah right!’ about attending a conference with your spouse.  Some might need to go alone, focus, get it done and would much rather do it by themselves than have cheerleaders waiting for them in their hotel room.  I suppose you should feel it out for yourself and talk it through with your spouse before planning anything.  If you ask me :), I’d say research some crazy conference in an exotic location, apply for funding if possible, and spend hours planning a trip with Rick Steves.  But, just be open minded, patient and ready to be flexible when your role as ‘supporting spouse’ takes on a whole new look while traveling.

 –M.C.

 Do you have any more tips, thoughts or stories to share about your experience with attending conferences with your spouse?

Monday's Food for Thought

Monday’s Food for Thought: Chickens on Prozac?

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So, I’ve never been a huge foodie…and I sadly never got around to reading “supersize me” and all those other fascinating documentaries on the sad, mixed up food industry that surrounds us these days.  I’ve always mainly shopped on the peripheral of the supermarket and never thought much of what I am buying.  However, I recently read this short piece from the NYT on some current testing in chickens in the US and I kinda felt sick and then got really frustrated.  Yuck! Yikes! Seriously!?

I tend to buy organic, especially since my daughter is now eating almost everything we eat, but organic isn’t always cheap…and sometimes it can be harder to come by.  After reading this, I am interested in researching more vegetarian options for dinner and when we do have meat (especially chicken) making sure it is organic if at all possible.

What do you think?  Do you know of more research/opinions out there?

Food for thought for sure…

-M.C.